Monkey Smell
by Kream45
Summary: Winston's farts cause problems to everyone around him.


**/So I've recently undergone an** **ass bouncement** **experiment. After countless hours of painful tests and injections, I finally achieved godhood. I can literally jump, land on my ass and bounce on it like a ball. Doesn't it sound like divinity to you? And I'm telling you this to make you jelly./**

Winston was just walking around the Overwatch base, when suddenly, he farted so fucking much, that the whole base was filled with monkey ass stench.

"Oopsies!" he said, "Guess I shouldn't have had that Triple Jalapeno Beef and Beans Burrito for breakfast!"

A few hours later…

"Friends, we've gathered here for a very serious reason." Jack Morrison said, "The thing is, it's not possible for me or any of the crew to work here anymore. We're disbanding, say goodbye to each other, no more Overwatch."

"Wait, what the fuck?" Dva exclaimed, "Why won't you just get rid of Winston? He's the reason for the smell."

"I'm afraid Winston is a gorilla, and we can't just get rid of him, because that would be considered racist."

And then, uninvited Winston came in.

"Hey guys, did you see my kebab anywhere?" he asked.

"… no." Jack replied.

"Oh, okay." Winston said, but just before he walked out, everyone heard a loud PRPRPPRPRPRPRPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR coming out of his ass.

"Oh my!" Winston chuckled, "I guess I shouldn't have drunk that chocolate milk after eating ten pounds of kielbasa!"

At this point, there was already a lot of hate going on towards Winston, but now… Let's just say that everybody shared the same hate at maximum levels.

They immediately figured out what had to be done (through their hive-minds, of course, because, as you're probably already aware, Overwatch members are insectoids in disguises), and that was to DESTROY Winston.

"Winston, that was your last fart." Said Ana, while holding her nose and trying not to choke on the stink, "We're gonna put you down here and now."

"Hey guys, but… I disapprove any kind of violence. Also, farts are natural." Winston said, oblivious to the fact that everybody wanted to kill him.

" _cough cough_ Don't worry guys, _cough,_ I'm on it." McCree got up and grabbed his revolver, but due to the deadly ass fumes, his eyes started itching right when he was about to press the trigger.

He accidentally shot Dva in the head instead of Winston.

"Holy COW!" Lucio screamed, "You killed Dva!"

"What? I can't see shit man, did I really?!" McCree coughed out, while rubbing his eyes.

"That's it, let me handle this!" Morrison took out a rifle and used his weird-eye-thingy, so that he won't miss Winston.

"Umm, why did McCree just shoot Dva?" Winston asked, "Don't worry, I was trained in healing magic, I can help."

Then he concentrated, stretched his muscles, and that did nothing. EXCEPT for the fart that came out of his ass due to the stretching.

The fart came out extremely hard, and released a shockwave, which threw everyone in the room on the walls. Jack hit the floor and broke his spine. The pain caused him to press the trigger on his rifle and accidentally killed Lucio and Mercy, who was just about to resurrect everyone. Now without her, everyone was dead, except for Ana and McCree, who were barely hanging on the line over the bottomless pit known as death.

At this point, I had to get up from my chair, clone myself and congratulate myself for the incredible poetry I've written, mixed into a shitpost.

But back to our little shits in Overwatch base…

"Ana, where are you?" McCree shouted, "The smoke and the stink are too dense, I can't see my own hands!"

"I've fallen!" Ana screamed, "And I CAN'T GET THE FUCK UP!"

It seemed that Ana was smashed by the big table, and McCree was not able to help, either.

"Umm, guys, this doesn't look too good." Winston scratched his head, "I'm gonna call somebody to help."

He took a step, and when his foot touched the floor, another fart came out of his monkey ass, again. This time it was on such a nuclear level, that it destroyed everything in a 5 mile radius.

Overwatch, Winston and everyone else around was no more. Winston's farts though… they survived.

They became conscious and sentient, and also very, very aggressive.

Winston's aggressive farts spread around the world, killing everyone and everything. That's it, that's the end, what else do you want?

 **THE END**

Smart Saying of the Day: Only when a mosquito sits on your balls will you remember that some problems can't be solved with violence.

#smart #worldpeace #mosquitolivesmatter #takingashitfromtimetotime #pancakesupmyass


End file.
